Break That Habit
Apr 07, 2022
"Habits are a product of choice. We are what we make of ourselves."
― E. W. Kenyon
Do you have a habit that isn't serving you? Do you keep practicing that habit over and over and over again? It used to be so enjoyable, but now, it's one of those things in your life that controls you...or seems to. It becomes a craving, and it's like nothing else will do.
Psychologists tell us that cravings or persistent behaviors that don't serve us come from an unmet need. I found that out personally.
Life Saver Gummies used to be my drug of choice. It got to the point where I would eat a couple of bags at a time some days. I could go for days without thinking about them. Then something or someone would trigger me and I was off to the races.
This is what I found when I took the time to reflect on the thoughts and emotions before that instant feeling;
"
Psychologists are right. Behind that feeling, was stress, procrastination, disappointment, powerlessness, loneliness...You get the picture?
If I needed the Gummies, the chocolate, the potato chips, that same old cutting remark when that button is pushed, I would feel better after my reaction. That old re-action NEVER gave me better feelings. Can you relate?
When we continue to think about what we think will satisfy us at the time, it grows. Where our focus goes, there our energy flows. Unless we change that thought, we're going to re-act that habit.
What the heck can we do about this?
Step 1. The next time you are tempted to re-act--STOP--what do you really want?
Step 2. Identify the emotion. Is it anger, resentment and/or bitterness; emptiness, insecurity or a desire for comfort? Are you lonely, bored? Kristin Neff, doctor of psychology says, "Name it and tame it.'' In the time it takes to name it, it is likely that the emotion has passed.
Scientists have proven that emotions pass through us within 90 seconds
...if we let them.
Step 3. Who would you like to be in this moment? How would you rather deal with this habit? How would you rather respond?
Step 4. Do it. Respond the way you desire to respond. Be who you would rather be in that moment. You then begin to create new neuropathways in your brain which, with continued practice, become automatic. (I would do a cartwheel right now if I weren't in my office!!!)
Don't believe me? Experiment with it. Practice. Choose wisely and you can change.
Need help? I'm just an email away!
I believe in you,
Jan
Jan McDonald
Maxwell Leadership Certified Team
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