Holiday Joy...or Not!
Nov 28, 2022
"Happiness is there for the taking and for the making. "
---Oprah Winfrey
I turned the key in my ignition to go to the gym this morning and immediately heard Christmas music. I changed the radio channel a few times and those happy, jolly, holiday tunes were everywhere. My old reaction of being irritated popped up and I changed the channel to talk radio. Oh geesh, that was worse.
Rather than plug in my playlist, I decided to process my reaction, because I thought I had dealt with that negative reaction already. The holidays become emotionally charged after my divorce in 1986. I would get the kids half the holiday and then they would go with their dad the other half. He lived in California and I lived in Medford, Oregon. That meant putting them on a plane alone or, weather permitting, drive to Redding to make the trade, which was halfway. It was sad and stressful to say the least.
Then there was the gift-giving. Every grandparent, parent, biological and step, seemed to want to buy the kids' love. You could barely walk around the Christmas tree for the gifts. It was so...commercial. I participated in the "love-buying" because I felt guilty.
Then I remembered I wasn't that person anymore. I had changed and was no longer a "holiday hater."
I changed my thinking some time ago, because I learned that The Reason for the season is not about presents, me, Christmas trees and decorations. The season is about the Greatest Gift of all, Jesus, the God who came to earth as a baby. He gave up his deity so He could have a relationship with us. Christmas doesn't revolve around me, darn it, it's His birthday.
As I drove to the gym in silence, I thought of my friends who are experiencing the holidays this year without a loved one who has recently passed away. There are those who have recently split from a significant relationship and are alone this year. I probably can't count those who are like I was and have to share their kids with others. Oh, and there are those who can't afford Christmas this year because of inflation or lack of a job. 
Yes, I am too blessed to be whining. AND the choice is mine. I can whine about the holidays or I can choose joy.
Remember, where your focus goes, there your energy flows. AND what we resist, persists, and even grows. The choice is ours.
My tips for happiness in this holiday season:
1. Allow yourself to feel and accept your feelings.
2. Decide to think grateful thoughts.
3. Share that joy by reaching out to others.
4. Go on a hike and enjoy God's beautiful creation.
5. Invite those who are alone over for coffee, pie, dinner, a movie, etc.
6. This is my favorite--ask Jesus to "catch your heart" and give those difficult emotions to Him.
I know this isn't always easy because my old reactions pop up from within sometimes, too. Since our reactions are learned behavior, we can unlearn and learn other responses in their place. I love that about life. I don't have to stay the same--I can change and become that person that I dream about.
If you need someone to chat with, I'm just an email away!
Holiday blessings to you,
Jan
Jan McDonald
The John Maxwell Team
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