Self-sabotage: watch for it!

" Make sure your worst enemy is not living between your own two ears."

--Anonymous
 

Tonight starts "Breakthrough to Your Best You, the Sequel."  This is a class that I'm teaching again by popular demand.  One of the modules is on Self-Sabotage and the idea for this content came about because there are areas where I sabotage my success and I wanted some answers.

While preparing, I came across some wisdom shared by prior participants.  So as not to blow anyone's cover, I'm not going to be using any names of the geniuses behind this email...unless, of course, it's me:)  
 

Self-sabotage is cunning--most of the time we are not aware that
we are doing it. We get caught in the web of our subconscious mind and old programming.

The first brilliance shared on the call was that overthinking was sabotage. This person called it "ruminating," like when a cow chews its cud. Overthinking the problems, rather than the possibilities, is paralyzing. Taking action is not even on the radar screen. The words used to describe this sabotage, "The possibilities only happen when I take action. All the things that I think are problems would not be problems if I would act, even if I didn't know how it would turn out. It never turns out the way I think it will anyway." Someone said that more than 90% of things that we worry about never happen anyway.

Another person shared that sabotage had to do with age and he/she was totally unaware that he/she was using this to hold herself back in areas. It was tough to learn new software and technology. Accompanying that was eating unhealthy things at night, which totally undid their weight loss program. "I'm older--I deserve to be able to eat this way."

Another participant shared about self-talk and the lies we believe about ourselves that cause us to sabotage.

We also came to the conclusion that sabotage is selfish. WHAT? How could that be? We don't live on an island, others are impacted by our behavior. Think about some of the habits or conditioning that we have. We don't think we are worthy to have the good in life. We procrastinate because there's always tomorrow. We compare ourselves to others. Maybe we fear intimate relationships, so we push away those we love. We drink, eat, tweet and facebook too much. We can't control our anger in conflict. Think of this list in terms of relationships and the resulting impacts on them.

Lastly, we all came to the conclusion that it is selfish to the One who created us. Your worldview may call that One the Universe, the Source. Intuition or whatever. I call Him God. God has given us all of these talents and gifts so we can make a positive difference in His world. When we behave in ways that are "less than" who we know we can be, we are hiding our brilliance, gifts and talents under limiting beliefs that don't serve us or anyone else for that matter.

Here's a couple of short tips to help you overcome sabotage:

1. Watch for self-sabotaging behavior and pause momentarily the next time you recognize it. Identify the feelings behind it. Why am I doing that yet again? Why am I reacting this way? What do I want to get from this behavior? How's that working for me? Most of the time it isn't working.

2. Create an positive affirmation statement to combat the negative thinking that is taking place in your mind. How do I want to feel? How would I rather respond instead? Imagine yourself overcoming, because you can. You get to choose our thoughts and actions.

Self-sabotage is a tug of war between our subconscious and conscious mind. Until we make the unconscious conscious, we can't win the war.

If you need help with self-sabotage, email me. If you want to hear more or participate in Breakthrough, the Sequel, let me know that, too.

Growing with you,

Jan

Jan McDonald
The John Maxwell Team

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