The Law of the Mirror--do you see value in yourself?

"Personal development is the belief that you are worth the effort, time and energy needed to develop yourself."

--Denis Waitley

Dr. Ben Carson's story is so inspiring. His mom, Sonya, didn’t have any more than a third grade education. She married his dad, a preacher, because she figured it was the only way to get anywhere. Sonya found him unfaithful and moved to Detroit with Ben and his brother to raise them as a single mom.

She believed in herself and her sons enough and went to work to provide the best that she could for them. She worked as a domestic servant and at one time, had three jobs so that she could provide for Ben and his brother, Curtis. They didn’t see much of her at times, as she would go to work before they awoke and come home after they went to bed.

Ben was at the bottom of his class and was laughed at by his peers. He developed a severe anger issue because of it.  He almost stabbed a student one day in a disagreement over radio stations. The only thing that saved him was the knife broke off in the belt of the student he attacked. Sonya believed she could turn his life around. She made Ben and Curtis read two library books per week and make reports on them.  Even though Sonya could barely read, she would look over the reports slowly, and then put a check mark on top of the page.

The boys hated the strict regimen of first doing homework and reading before they could go out to play. But later, Ben realized that he could transport himself out of Detroit by reading a book. Through this, Ben began to see value in himself and then continued to add value to himself. And the rest is history.  He had a childhood dream of becoming a doctor. He not only became a doctor, but a world renown and very gifted neurosurgeon. He has added tremendous value to others. 

Zig Ziglar, a motivational speaker, says “It’s impossible to consistently behave in a manner inconsistent with how we see ourselves." We can do very few things in a positive way if we feel negative about ourselves. Low self-esteem is the lid on our potential. Your self-esteem deficiency will put limits on you.
 

 Steps to Build your Self-image

1. Guard your self-talk. Whether you know it or not, you have a running conversation with yourself all day long. AND WE LISTEN TO OURSELVES. Not only that, but I am sure that there are some limiting beliefs that were given to you accidentally that talk to you, as well. We can’t change the way we think about ourselves until we change the way we talk to ourselves. What we say about ourselves, we tend to believe. What we believe, we tend to act. What we act, we tend to become.  No world record was ever set by anyone who said “I can’t do this.”
 

The damage that we do to ourselves with our self talk is way worse than what others say to us.

2. Stop comparing yourself to others.  You do either of two things when you compare yourself to others. Either you perceive the other person to be far better, thinner, handsomer or smarter than you and become discouraged, or you perceive yourself better than others and become proud.

3. Move beyond your limiting beliefs. 
•    Take some time (right now) to identify a belief that limits you. (if you need help with this, let me know.)
•    Determine how the belief limits you.
•    Decide how you want to act, feel, or be instead of that belief.
•    Create a new turnaround statement that gives you permission to be this way. Read it daily. 

4.  Add value to others. It’s hard to feel bad about yourself when you’re serving others.

5. Practice a small discipline daily in a specific area of your life. Since your self-worth is based on the positive habits, actions and decisions you practice every day, why not chip away at your biggest problems daily.

What can you do every day that moves you closer to being the person you want to become?  Do the right thing, even if it’s hard.

Take a couple of minutes and write one thing that you are going to implement this week to grow your self-esteem positively. Stand tall! There isn't anyone else like you!

I believe in you, too,

Jan