The Unknown Struggle
Jan 10, 2022
“Life is either an adventure or nothing at all."
--Helen Keller
Adventure is my word for 2022.
Reading through last years journal, I realized that I spent a huge amount of time struggling with control issues. In fact, it wasn't just last year's struggle--it's been with me awhile. It makes me smile to even write this, because I know in my head that I can't control people or circumstances. I guess that knowledge never made it to my heart.
We all know how much of our lives have been in our control in the last couple years with the pandemic and all. Ha! Every other day, "they" change the rules and we have to figure life out all over again. When I dwell on this powerlessness, it feels dark and squeezing; my neck muscles tighten and my breathing gets
Reading through last years journal, I realized that I spent a huge amount of time struggling with control issues. In fact, it wasn't just last year's struggle--it's been with me awhile. It makes me smile to even write this, because I know in my head that I can't control people or circumstances. I guess that knowledge never made it to my heart.
We all know how much of our lives have been in our control in the last couple years with the pandemic and all. Ha! Every other day, "they" change the rules and we have to figure life out all over again. When I dwell on this powerlessness, it feels dark and squeezing; my neck muscles tighten and my breathing gets
shallow. This would often manifest outwardly as irritation, bad attitude and even a bit of anger...because I didn't know what was coming.
When this continued inner wrestling finally became painful enough, when I finally got sick of it, I decided to reflect more on the accompanying emotions. I wanted to crush these negative feelings, so I sat in them for awhile.
I came to the conclusion that my desire for control is really fear. WHAT? I'm not afraid of anything...unless it is an unknown or something I can't control. This inner skirmish pretty much came to a head when we had Covid. Talk about powerlessness.
When this continued inner wrestling finally became painful enough, when I finally got sick of it, I decided to reflect more on the accompanying emotions. I wanted to crush these negative feelings, so I sat in them for awhile.
I came to the conclusion that my desire for control is really fear. WHAT? I'm not afraid of anything...unless it is an unknown or something I can't control. This inner skirmish pretty much came to a head when we had Covid. Talk about powerlessness.
Powerlessness fuels the fear, which feeds my irritation and anger. 
Did you know that anger or irritation releases adrenaline-like substances in our bodies? Epinephrine is one of those hormones, as well. Together, these distract us from feeling pain. These chemicals also give us a feeling of control. AHA!
No wonder being angry is such a "go-to" emotion when the pain of powerlessness arises!
AND it's not the circumstance that impacts our emotions in a negative way, it's what we believe about the circumstance that causes the reaction. Fear is a feeling that is caused by our belief that something or someone will cause us pain or be dangerous. Fear can also rise when we are worried about something that MAY TRANSPIRE WITH AN UNCERTAIN OUTCOME.
The key word there is MAY. Research says that ninety percent of the things we worry about don't come to pass anyway. Our beliefs can be in error.
What a waste of energy, mentally and emotionally. Time for a belief change for me. I need to change how I perceive unknowns and those things, circumstances and people I can't control (which is just about every thing and body). I decided that it was time that I viewed life as an adventure, hence my word for the year. Adventures are exciting and fun. Yes, they can be risky and scary, in an enjoyable way. An adventure is something I choose--just like the thoughts I think. Unknowns and powerlessness are now adventures.
How much time did I waste in previous years (yeah, it was a nasty habit) grasping for things that I couldn't control anyway? What could I have used all that negative mental and emotional energy for? How much more creative could I have been...wait, it's a new year and I get to start over. The past is gone and it doesn't define me. Yippee!
I saw a statement in an online devotional that I enjoy, "Instead of grasping and controlling--release and receive." Sounds like a great New Year's resolution to me.
Thanks for listening,
Jan
Jan McDonald
The John Maxwell Team
PS. I have a new class starting January 18th--Self Image Masterclass. This is a class that many have enjoyed before, but this time I have added spiritual truths. Watch for my next facebook live on Tuesday or Wednesday about this viritual class. I am soooooooo excited to share this with you!
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